I’m gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I’ll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

Lady and Bird Suicide is Painless

This time of year, I swear. Some years I’m out to destroy everything. Myself, my relationships, the fragile dishes, the souls of little children. Some years I’m on cloud nine. It’s impossible to predict until I’m IN IT.

This year.

This year I’m up and then down. I’m happy and giddy while on the brink of destroying things. I’m impressionable. I’m manic, basically. On top of the world one day. Realize how stupid being on top of the world was and how fake and artificial it was. Jump  on slide to the bottom of the pit. Oh Woe Is Me Down Here I’s Is Dumb. Seriously.

I’m not passing on the buck for this one. This depression is between me, my brain, and the motherfucking sun.

You know what doesn’t help though? The people I work with. Seriously. These people are not just like my family. They are LIKE MY FAMILY. For every person I work with, there is an analogue in my biological family. Some of the scenarios of late are like deja-vue. And that makes me more depressed than anything. They say some things never change.

They really don’t.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 14th, 2008 at 9:44 pm and is filed under daily post.