happy bean nightiversary

June 4th, 2008

Today is the extremely unofficial third anniversary of my co-patriotship. That’s right. On this night, 3 years ago, was the evening that will be forever, and ever, and ever remembered by my friends (whether they were there to witness it in all its flatulent glory, or not) as bean night.

3 years ago was moving day for me. An out with the old, in with the new sort of day. Not that it was that easy, but it was, but it wasn’t. The sadness, and regret, and depression, and anxiety have almost been forgotten. I had no idea as I was moving my things that morning that later on that very same day I’d be experiencing the beginnings of a new friendship turned –hopefully life-long– partnership. If you were to have told me that morning even, that later on that day after moving and then going to work that I would be staying up all night with a man I barely knew, in my new bedroom on a borrowed twin bed, laughing ’til it hurt at how farty a person could be after eating beans… I wouldn’t have believed it. Especially since back then, a fart??? Let’s just say I wasn’t very tolerant towards them, or the people dealing them.

Unfortunately, the walls of the house I was living in with my friends were thin. Like, really thin. Like, thin enough that the next morning there was much concern. Nothing that sounded that bad could possibly be good. Oh, but at least they couldn’t smell it. It’s a night that none of us will ever forget.

So, to celebrate I thought I might try to re-manufacture the explosions that took place three years ago. You might read that as sexual innuendo, but there is no sex of three years ago to recreate. I thought it would be difficult to inspire the proper chemistry for farts to be created in someone else’s intestines… but then that someone decided to stop at McDonalds and get a lardcream cone on their way home. If only my day job was this easy.

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