today was my boss’s last day. that pretty much blows. i haven’t been to see my doctor yet. but last time i was there…

he’s an interesting sort of fellow. he’s a general practitioner, but has a greater interest in healing energy bodies than he does in prescribing zoloft. one visit, he sent me off on a quest to find a list of different chinese medicines, with placenta at the top of the list. if that’s not weird enough, not only did we find some “placenta nourishing pills,” but when we were in vancouver we actually bought somebody’s or something’s placenta. it’s in the linen closet for someday when we have a show-and-tell. or maybe we’ll invite an arch-nemesis over for soup one night. in order to prescribe his medications, my doctor uses muscle testing. you hold the box in one hand, hold up the other arm, and he goes to town. in lieu of a box, in case he doesn’t have it there… you just say the name of the herbal concoction. it’s brilliantly simple. and also works for acupuncture points. he puts pressure on the point, hold up an arm and see what happens.

last time i was there, it was before i started doing a lot more yoga and sitting in mediumship circles. it should be interesting to see if there’s any difference. i’m excited to go back again. but not excited to feel like crap right now.

Lately, I can’t get enough sleep. Ever. Mondays are the hardest, I think I’m ready to go back to work but by noon my blood sugar is way off, I’m shaking, some days I black out entirely, I feel anxious and my heart rate is totally whacked out (but I’m sure that’s my morning coffee and the stress of work). I run a fever daily, and I’m generally exhausted. All for no obvious reason.

I’ve had a couple theories about why I’ve been constantly running a fever and feeling stupid tired:

1. Maybe I’ve caught some kind of virus and these are the symptoms I’m having
2. Could be something wrong with the air at work? I feel fine when I’m sitting on my butt at home or on my butt in a cafe on the weekend
3. Could be something energetic to do with all the super demanding extremely nice, understanding oil patch workers I talk to everyday and the urgency that I seem to place on all of their demands and concerns… They’re my peeps, I want to take care of them. Part of my, “If I don’t do it, we’re all going to DIE” mentality
4. Could be my thyroid. Screwed up thyroids run in my family. About a 32 gazillion people have suggested to me that I should have my TH level checked, and when that many people throw a recommendation out, there’s usually a pretty good reason for it. Or, there was a headline in the paper last week about thyroids and everyone is just throwing it out there.
5. Maybe, possibly, a meridian or channel is out of whack and a trip to my super-awesome doctor at his “healing centre” is in order.

I choose number 5! My doctor is great. He’s a an MD and practices acupuncture, prescribes Chinese herbs, and dabbles in homeopathy. You will never make direct eye contact with him, try as you might, something over your shoulder is of more interest to him than your face. My hope is that he can address a developing problem before it becomes one that has to be rescued by a daily dose of chemical. Other solutions I’m resolved to try include a daily dose of self-inflicted reiki, limited post-work computer usage, increased levels of meditation, and a ridiculously early bedtime.

Why go the route of the insane? Why not? I’ve seen what the regular medical system does for people first hand, and I think there are better ways to address fatigue than treating it like a disease. I’m going to take the less acceptable, seemingly senseless approach. I will beat this. I’m not that lazy.

it’s stupid how i just spent an hour putting a twitter widget on this page when what i should be doing is shleeping. i’ve been running a fever off and on all week. have i stayed home to rest for a day yet? no. will i do it tomorrow? i really hope so.

i went to my circle tonight, for the first time in a few weeks. there weren’t very many people there, and that’s fine with me. i gave a message to a man who i don’t know very well at all. we haven’t actually been introduced yet. i described his grandmother, and told him that his grandmother’s name was norma. apparently this man doesn’t have much of a sense of humor. his grandmother’s name was nora. everything else i said about his grandmother and what she had to describe about his most current state of affairs: null and void. because i was off by 1 letter. while communicating with a dead person. oh well, you can’t please everyone.

i’m trying very hard to restrain myself from buying an eee pc. i know they’re coming out with a new one soon with a nine inch screen. and i don’t need a new, very small laptop. but how fantastically awesome useful it would be to lug around. this thing is a back-breaker… and i walk pretty much everywhere i need to lug it, it’s all pretty local. downloading pictures we take on our mini-vacations. and trips to the coasts. all very good reasons to have an ultraportable computer.

why am i not in bed?